Confession time: I have a habit – can’t tell if it’s a good habit or a bad habit – I just know that it leads me to some interesting places.
If you know me, you know that I am a book junkie – hoarder – consumer – I’ll man up to all those labels. What you may not know is that sometimes when I go into a library or a bookstore or even on Amazon, I pick up books that just “look interesting.” Sometimes I hit the jackpot and sometimes I don’t get past the first few pages.
Anyway, that’s how I came across the book, Do One Thing Different (and other uncommonly sensible solutions to life’s persistent problems) by Bill O’Hanlon. The title reminded me of another book that I have and really like (The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson and John David Mann) so I thought it might be additional learning building on that one.
The thing about finding books is that usually I can find something in every book that is a nugget to share. Do One Thing Different was no different. It was written by a man with degrees in psychology and marriage and family therapy so much of the book was about using his process with clients in relationships.
But I think it can be applied to small business owners (SBO), too. As a small business coach, so much of a business’s success sits on the shoulders of the SBO. How they handle things and what decisions they make are part and parcel to the success – or demise – of their operations.
O’Hanlon talked about how when people have a problem or are depressed, they spend a great deal of their time in therapy trying to figure out WHY they are depressed or have problems. He said,
“Most often, they led to interesting explanations of how a problem had developed, and what kept it from changing.”
But that was the problem. Things didn’t change. So he took a different tack:
“I began to discover the way to change was both simpler and less obvious that what I had learned. I eventually stopped looking in the obvious places and focused my light on other areas to find the keys to solving problems.”
I found it interesting the way he put it:
“Analyzing why I was depressed was clearly part and parcel of the problem. Like a drunk who had dropped his car keys by the car, but was searching under the streetlight because there was more light there, I was searching in all the wrong places for the key to let myself out of the prison that depression had become.”
He suggests instead that anyone with a problem stop trying to figure out “why” and instead ponder what they could have “done differently” and then take action on that.
In some instances the “why” can be a critical part of breaking a pattern of reactions or responses, but in other cases, not so much. Sometimes just recognizing that the behavior is counter-productive or damaging is enough reason to change it.
By becoming aware of the behavior and making it a point to change it, you can change your world – at home, at work, just everywhere. And, apparently, there is science that can back it up.
How often do you get a response from others that confounds you or isn’t what you expected? Maybe what you are doing or saying is setting up the response you don’t want.
So when things don’t turn out the way you want, figure out what you could have “done differently” and try that.
It doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out that in order to change your results, you’ve got to change what you are doing …
To Your Success!
Jack Klemeyer
